okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
