But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
