PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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