I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
