i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
