she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
we're so committed to being not committed
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
