Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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