pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
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I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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