ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
