"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
