Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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