you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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