I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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