Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
