I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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