you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
