Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
