well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
