butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
