Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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