I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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