Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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