A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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