Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
