I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
