I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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