Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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