4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
