I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
