Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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