I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
