i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
