don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
