did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
