and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
