It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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