By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
