I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
