Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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