just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
my poor anus
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
