just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
