the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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