felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
