hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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