I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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