Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
