where am i from again
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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