That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
