whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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