why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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