I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
