She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
