Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
