isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
