am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
