I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
