I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
