just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
